For Male Survivors

Male Victims of Rape: Information to Let Males Know They Are Not Alone and Help Is Available

A Brochure by the New Mexico Coalition of Sexual Assault Programs, Inc. (NMCSAP)

Overview

The experience of being forced to have sexual contact is not one reserved exclusively for women and children. Men may be victims of sexual assault also. In our society, however, the myth that men cannot be raped prevails. Since male rape is reported less often than female rape, it is not thought to be a problem. The emotional and physical effects of rape, however, are usually as devastating for men as they are for women. This is intended to answer questions about this humiliating, often life-threatening, crime.

HOW does it happen?

The sexual preference of the rapist is not important here; the attack is one of violence, not of passion or sexual gratification.

The FBI reports that one out of six men will be victims of sexual assault by the time he reaches 18. Male rape occurs under similar circumstances as female rape: someone attacks the person with the need to overcome him in a violent, controlling way. The victim is overpowered either physically with force or psychologically with threats, and forced into sexual contact.

Most people think that male rape occurs only in prisons or as a result of homosexual contact. These are neither exclusively nor predominantly the conditions under which male rape occurs. The attack can happen anywhere: in a dark parking lot, in the victim's home, or while he is hitchhiking, to name a few. The sexual preference of the rapist is not important here; the attack is one of violence, not of passion or sexual gratification. It is an attack of aggression in which the rapist uses violence, control, and sex to make himself feel more powerful.

Most male rapists who rape men are heterosexual, have access to typical sexual relationships with females, but feel greater control when sexually overpowering a male.

Physically, male rape can happen in several ways and is a criminal offense. In the state of New Mexico, rape is defined as Criminal Sexual Penetration. Victims or offenders can be male or female, child or adult. Males can be raped by having the following sexual acts forced on them, or be forced to perform these acts on the offender: penetration of penis into anus; fellatio (mouth to penis); penetration to any extent with an object into the anus; forced to perform cunnilingus (mouth to female genital area); or sexual intercourse (penis to vagina) on a female offender. Ejaculation does not have to occur for these acts to be considered rape. Forced anal penetration, the most commonly reported type of male rape, is a humiliating, painful experience for the victim.

WHAT should a male victim do?

A male victim can increase his chance of having the police apprehend his assailant, as well as insure his own mental and physical well-being, by doing the following three things:

Crisis assistance

Call the police, Rape Crisis Center, or Mental Health emergency hotline as soon as possible after the attack. The people at these agencies can offer him emotional and legal support, and help him understand the feelings of shock, disbelief, and embarrassment that most rape victims, male as well as female, experience.

Medical assistance

There are less than a handful of reported cases of a victim contracting AIDS as a result of being raped by an AIDS carrier.

Go to the Emergency Room, doctor's office, or health clinic. He will need to be treated for any physical injuries as well as tested for gonorrhea, syphilis, and other sexually transmitted diseases. He may receive preventative medications to treat these. Only between 3% and 5% of rape victims contract a sexually transmitted disease as a result of a rape. Taking prescribed preventative medications as soon as possible, and scheduling follow-up exams to make sure the diseases have been taken care of, will decrease some of the anxiety the victim has to deal with. The male victim may fear the contraction of AIDS from the assailant. There are less than a handful of reported cases of a victim contracting AIDS as a result of being raped by an AIDS carrier. It is the victim's choice to be tested for AIDS, although this test cannot be given until three months have passed following sexual contact with a suspected AIDS carrier.

If the victim plans to report the assault to the police and has hopes of having his case prosecuted by the District Attorney's Office, a sexual assault evidence collection kit will be done with the victim in the emergency room or clinic. Medical personnel and possibly a rape crisis advocate will perform the evidence collection. The victim's name and facts about the assault will be kept confidential. The police will be notified only if the victim makes the decision to do so, unless the victim is under 18 years of age. Evidence collection consists of: collecting any fluids or materials that the offender may have left on the victim's body or clothing, documenting any marks or injuries as a result of the assault, and collecting standards from the victim—such as blood and hairs to compare with any others that are found on the victim. No victim has to agree to this collection, but without it, chances of a successful prosecution are greatly reduced.

It is also important for the victim to be checked and treated for any physical injuries he may have received as a result of the assault.

Medical and other costs

The State of New Mexico pays 100% of the evidence collection and up to $150 for injury repair and prescriptions provided to you as a direct result of rape. If the victim has questions regarding this, he should call the New Mexico Coalition of Sexual Assault Programs at 505-883-8020 for assistance.

If your medical bills (for injury repair and prescriptions, etc.) are over $150 and/or you have paid for mental health services or experienced lost wages as a result of your rape, you may apply for compensation from New Mexico Crime Victims Reparation Commission (505-841-9432). Reimbursement from NMCVRC requires that you filed a police report following your assault and that you apply within one year of the assault.

Get counseling

A forced sexual assault has lingering emotional effects which are not that easy to get rid of.

All Rape Crisis Centers, Community Mental Health Agencies, and private therapists can offer services or referrals for the Male Rape Victim. It is important for him to be able to talk about his feelings related to the attack so that he can feel less isolated and less unsure of himself. He will have questions such as, "Did I bring it on?"; "Am I to blame?"; "Does this mean that I'm gay?"

It is also important to the male rape victim's primary relationship or marriage that he receive counseling either alone or with his partner. Their relationship may go through rocky times as he reevaluates himself and his life as a result of being sexually violated. Some men feel that, although the assault was a terrible experience, they can handle it. This usually means blocking it out of the mind, forgetting about it, and attempting to carry on with life as usual. Unfortunately, a forced sexual assault has lingering emotional effects which are not that easy to get rid of. A rape victim has had to endure the rape alone, and should not have to deal with the aftermath alone. Taking care of it himself may appear to be the stronger, male thing to do; however, the experience will surface in one way or another if the victim has not dealt with it. Unresolved feelings resulting from a rape may lead to alcohol and/or drug abuse, eating and sleeping disorders, relationship problems, and exploding—possibly inflicting physical abuse on those he loves in order to regain his own control, the only way he may know how. Talking about it really does help.

Survival

A message to the male rape victim

No matter what you were doing just before the attack—drinking, getting high, hitchhiking, etc.—NO ONE asks or deserves to be raped.

It is natural to wonder if you did something to provoke the attack and whether you responded correctly. No matter what you were doing just before the attack—drinking, getting high, hitchhiking, etc.—NO ONE asks or deserves to be raped. Whatever decision you made to survive the attack was the right one. Survivors often feel guilty, thinking, "I should have done this"; "I should have done that"; "I should have been able to fight him off"; "If only I hadn't been there or accepted that ride." They're responsible for the attack—NOT YOU! Remember that he committed a criminal offense. You may be experiencing even further guilt because you are a male in a society which does not generally expect this crime to happen to males and, if it does, expects male victims to be strong enough to fight off a rapist. These ideas come from a myth that rape is sexually motivated. It is not. It IS an act of violence in which the rapist uses sex as a weapon to overpower, control, and humiliate his victim. Threats of death and/or injury and a great force are often part of the rape. The rapist is usually overcome with intense strength during the rape. The decision to stay alive, no matter what you have to endure, is always a great choice.

You have survived!

Your life may seem changed—as though you're now in a different world. It has changed for you, and the adjustments may often be difficult. Just reading this brochure is a positive step toward further survival. We're glad you survived, and we hope you take advantage of all the people willing to help you through this.

[Contact information updated 2009-01-11.]

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