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SAME-SEX VIOLENCE
Facts and Resources
Lesbian Sexual Assault
Did you know that...
- Women can be raped by other women?
- Women can sexually assault other women?
- Violence occurs in 1 out of 4 lesbian relationships?
- Lesbian domestic violence often includes lesbian rape?
- Lesbian rape almost always goes unreported?
Why don't we hear more about this?
Because many people define rape at penetration by a penis, woman to
woman rape is not acknowledged or taken seriously. But in fact, it
is estimated that 1 out of 3 lesbians have been sexually assaulted
by another woman.
Lesbians and bisexual women are targeted for sexual violence. Most
of these crimes go unreported. In addition to surviving sexual violence
perpetrated by other lesbians, lesbian survivors are also raped by
men. In the U.S., homophobia and heterosexism set the stage for many
forms of violence, including sexual violence towards lesbians. The
majority of these crimes go unreported.
Most of the men who sexually abuse children are heterosexual. Statistics
show that unlike the popular opinion, most of the cases of child sexual
abuse are committed by heterosexual men.
Rape is about power and control, and not about roles. There is a myth
that butches are never raped, and femmes never rape. The fact is that
regardless of how one identifies s/he can be raped. There is no way
to tell by looking at two women who is the rapist and who is the survivor.
While some butches do rape, so do some femmes.
Most of the rapes in the U.S. are committed by white men. Many people
in the U.S. wrongly believe that the majority of rapes are committed
by Men-of-Color against white women. The fact is that 90% of rapes
occur between people of the same race. However, Men-of-Color are disproportionately
incarcerated.
Disabled women are at higher risk of being sexually assaulted than
other women. Women with disabilities are often targeted for sexual
violence. This violence is often made invisible by society's false
assumptions that rape is about sex and that women with disabilities
are asexual. Women with developmental disabilities are at a50% higher
risk of being sexually assaulted.
Women-of-Color are raped at a higher rate than white women. Women-of-Color
have survived rapes by men of their own communities, on addition to
rape committed by white men. Myths such as "Women-of-Color are unrapable
or oversexed" were intentionally created to erase the history of rape
and brutalization of Women-of-Color by white men.
Women do not ask to be raped by dressing in a certain way or being
out late at night. A woman may be raped in any kind of clothing. Rape
is a violent choice made solely by the rapist, and has nothing to
do with what a woman wears. A woman should be able to choose what
she wears, where she goes, who she has sex with, and NOT BE RAPED.
Rape is used as a way to control women and their choices.
We live in a society that wants to hide these facts from us. Everyday,
we are given messages about rape that reinforce racism, sexism, homophobia,
classism, and anti-immigrant sentiments.
Barriers to confronting same-sex rape:
Women who survive same-sex rape go through a similar recovery process
as people who survive opposite-sex rape. This can include feeling
confused, angry, scared, etc. In addition to these feelings, lesbian
women also experience barriers to recovery as a result of living in
a heterosexist and homophobic society. Some of these barriers include:
DISBELIEF. Many people do not want to
believe or are unaware that same-sex rape happens. If it is acknowledged,
often is it though to be "not as bad" as male-female" rape.
DENIAL. Even lesbians and bisexual women
do not want to believe they could hurt each other. But rape and sexual
assault happen in out communities: on dates, in relationships, between
acquaintances, coworkers, and strangers.
HOMOPHOBIA. Another reason for hesitating
to talk about same-sex rape is the fear of being accused of betraying
the queer community. Because of denial and disbelief on one hand,
and the homophobia and heterosexism of the society on the other hand,
many lesbians and bisexual women do not want to hear that women can
hurt each other. The survivor may be accused of betraying "the community"
and be isolated from support.
If you were sexually assaulted, REMEMBER it was not your fault and
you are NOT ALONE. Many lesbians and bisexual women are raped, although
it may be hard for some survivors to talk about it. No matter what
were wearing, where you were, who you were with, and what you were
doing, you did not deserve to be raped. You have a right to say no
to anyone, even your lover, partner, date, or to any sexual activity
you do not want.
Information received from SFWAR.
http://www.sfwar.org/fact/brochles.htm
LGBTQ Sexual and Domestic Violence
Myths and Facts
| MYTH |
FACT |
- Sexual assault & domestic violence don't occur in
LGBTQ relationships (denial)
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- Sexual assault & domestic violence do occur in LGBTQ
relationships
- Domestic violence occurs in LGBTQ relationships
as frequently and as severely as it does in heterosexual
relationships
- Level of trauma of sexual violence is not defined
by whether or not the weapon was a penis
- LGBTQ survivors also need support in healing
- Some key dynamics of domestic violence are the
same in all relationships (violence is about power
& control, violence occurs in a cycle, violence escalates
over time, etc.
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- Sexual & domestic violence occurs in LGBTQ relationships
because there is something inherently unhealthy with
these relationships
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- There is nothing inherently unhealthy about these
relationships
- People do not abuse because they are LGBTQ (or heterosexual).
People abuse to have power & control over another
person.
- LGBTQ people can have healthy relationships
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- The bigger, more masculine or masculine identified
person is always the abusive partner in a domestic
violence relationship
|
- Size, masculinity/femininity and gender identity
are not causes of abuse and do not determine who is
the abusive partner
- Sexual and domestic violence does not occur in
butch/femme relationships more frequently
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- Sexual and domestic violence in LGBTQ relationships
is "mutual" (both partners are abusive to each other)
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- In all relationships, both partners can have unhealthy
behavior. But in domestic violence relationships,
mutual abuse rarely happens.
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- It's easier for an LGBTQ person to leave an abusive
relationship
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- The reasons why it is difficult to leave an abusive
relationship are similar for all abusive relationships.
Homo/bi/transphobic & heterosexism also contribute
to difficulties leaving an abusive relationship
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- Sexual & domestic violence occurs in LGBTQ relationships
that engage in SM play more frequently
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- Sexual & domestic violence does not occur in LGBTQ
relationships that engage in SM play more frequently
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- SM play is sexual and domestic violence
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- SM play is consensual so it is not abuse
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- Children are never an issue in LGBTQ relationships
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- LGBTQ people frequently have children in their
lives
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