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SAME-SEX VIOLENCE
Facts and Resources

Lesbian Sexual Assault
Did you know that...

  • Women can be raped by other women?
  • Women can sexually assault other women?
  • Violence occurs in 1 out of 4 lesbian relationships?
  • Lesbian domestic violence often includes lesbian rape?
  • Lesbian rape almost always goes unreported?
Why don't we hear more about this?
Because many people define rape at penetration by a penis, woman to woman rape is not acknowledged or taken seriously. But in fact, it is estimated that 1 out of 3 lesbians have been sexually assaulted by another woman.

Lesbians and bisexual women are targeted for sexual violence. Most of these crimes go unreported. In addition to surviving sexual violence perpetrated by other lesbians, lesbian survivors are also raped by men. In the U.S., homophobia and heterosexism set the stage for many forms of violence, including sexual violence towards lesbians. The majority of these crimes go unreported.

Most of the men who sexually abuse children are heterosexual. Statistics show that unlike the popular opinion, most of the cases of child sexual abuse are committed by heterosexual men.

Rape is about power and control, and not about roles. There is a myth that butches are never raped, and femmes never rape. The fact is that regardless of how one identifies s/he can be raped. There is no way to tell by looking at two women who is the rapist and who is the survivor. While some butches do rape, so do some femmes.

Most of the rapes in the U.S. are committed by white men. Many people in the U.S. wrongly believe that the majority of rapes are committed by Men-of-Color against white women. The fact is that 90% of rapes occur between people of the same race. However, Men-of-Color are disproportionately incarcerated.

Disabled women are at higher risk of being sexually assaulted than other women. Women with disabilities are often targeted for sexual violence. This violence is often made invisible by society's false assumptions that rape is about sex and that women with disabilities are asexual. Women with developmental disabilities are at a50% higher risk of being sexually assaulted.

Women-of-Color are raped at a higher rate than white women. Women-of-Color have survived rapes by men of their own communities, on addition to rape committed by white men. Myths such as "Women-of-Color are unrapable or oversexed" were intentionally created to erase the history of rape and brutalization of Women-of-Color by white men.

Women do not ask to be raped by dressing in a certain way or being out late at night. A woman may be raped in any kind of clothing. Rape is a violent choice made solely by the rapist, and has nothing to do with what a woman wears. A woman should be able to choose what she wears, where she goes, who she has sex with, and NOT BE RAPED. Rape is used as a way to control women and their choices.

We live in a society that wants to hide these facts from us. Everyday, we are given messages about rape that reinforce racism, sexism, homophobia, classism, and anti-immigrant sentiments.

Barriers to confronting same-sex rape:
Women who survive same-sex rape go through a similar recovery process as people who survive opposite-sex rape. This can include feeling confused, angry, scared, etc. In addition to these feelings, lesbian women also experience barriers to recovery as a result of living in a heterosexist and homophobic society. Some of these barriers include:

DISBELIEF. Many people do not want to believe or are unaware that same-sex rape happens. If it is acknowledged, often is it though to be "not as bad" as male-female" rape.

DENIAL. Even lesbians and bisexual women do not want to believe they could hurt each other. But rape and sexual assault happen in out communities: on dates, in relationships, between acquaintances, coworkers, and strangers.

HOMOPHOBIA. Another reason for hesitating to talk about same-sex rape is the fear of being accused of betraying the queer community. Because of denial and disbelief on one hand, and the homophobia and heterosexism of the society on the other hand, many lesbians and bisexual women do not want to hear that women can hurt each other. The survivor may be accused of betraying "the community" and be isolated from support.

If you were sexually assaulted, REMEMBER ­ it was not your fault and you are NOT ALONE. Many lesbians and bisexual women are raped, although it may be hard for some survivors to talk about it. No matter what were wearing, where you were, who you were with, and what you were doing, you did not deserve to be raped. You have a right to say no to anyone, even your lover, partner, date, or to any sexual activity you do not want.

Information received from SFWAR.
http://www.sfwar.org/fact/brochles.htm



LGBTQ Sexual and Domestic Violence
Myths and Facts

MYTH FACT
  • Sexual assault & domestic violence don't occur in LGBTQ relationships (denial)
  • Sexual assault & domestic violence do occur in LGBTQ relationships
  • Domestic violence occurs in LGBTQ relationships as frequently and as severely as it does in heterosexual relationships
  • Level of trauma of sexual violence is not defined by whether or not the weapon was a penis
  • LGBTQ survivors also need support in healing
  • Some key dynamics of domestic violence are the same in all relationships (violence is about power & control, violence occurs in a cycle, violence escalates over time, etc.
  • Sexual & domestic violence occurs in LGBTQ relationships because there is something inherently unhealthy with these relationships
  • There is nothing inherently unhealthy about these relationships
  • People do not abuse because they are LGBTQ (or heterosexual). People abuse to have power & control over another person.
  • LGBTQ people can have healthy relationships
  • The bigger, more masculine or masculine identified person is always the abusive partner in a domestic violence relationship
  • Size, masculinity/femininity and gender identity are not causes of abuse and do not determine who is the abusive partner
  • Sexual and domestic violence does not occur in butch/femme relationships more frequently
  • Sexual and domestic violence in LGBTQ relationships is "mutual" (both partners are abusive to each other)
  • In all relationships, both partners can have unhealthy behavior. But in domestic violence relationships, mutual abuse rarely happens.
  • It's easier for an LGBTQ person to leave an abusive relationship
  • The reasons why it is difficult to leave an abusive relationship are similar for all abusive relationships. Homo/bi/transphobic & heterosexism also contribute to difficulties leaving an abusive relationship
  • Sexual & domestic violence occurs in LGBTQ relationships that engage in SM play more frequently
  • Sexual & domestic violence does not occur in LGBTQ relationships that engage in SM play more frequently
  • SM play is sexual and domestic violence
  • SM play is consensual so it is not abuse
  • Children are never an issue in LGBTQ relationships
  • LGBTQ people frequently have children in their lives


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